4 months 

I can’t believe it’s been that long. Just 120 days ago I walked out of the door of the home I brought my babies to when we left the hospital. I made the long over due choice to walk away from the man I had hoped to share my ljfe with. So much can happen in 120 days. 
3 relationships, 1 sti, 1 rape, 1 lost friend, countless mistakes. 1v patient lover, a new home, new selfless friends, hours of self discovery, and the continual journey of learning to love myself. 
I never thought I would have been strong enligh to leave. I never saw myself solo parenting my children. I thought leaving was pain, and then I was violated. Self worth issues are difficult at the best of times, but when your objectified they become a even bigger demon. I never guessed I would have something take control over my body the way the emotions caused from his violation have. 
But I am still here. Not only did I leave the house my babies came home to, but I did it with my head held high through my fears. I picked myself after someone did me the ultimate disservice and did what I had to in order to start to heal. The man I love returned to me because he must see things I don’t. 
I still make mistakes. I’m still very insecure and broken, but o keep my head held high. When I wake up I tell myself I’m strong, I’m beautiful, and I’m worth wanting, some mornings I have to force myself out of bed after saying it at least 10 tines. Other days I feel happy and only have to remind myself once. On days when the kids are being difficult I hide in the bathroom and tell myself those 3 things over and over. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes I really believe the things I say, I hope if I continue to say them to myself that one day I will fully believe them. 

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