Good and bad

The past few days have been filled with ups and downs. Life keeps me on my toes, but I’m over all happy.

Friday T wasn’t feeling well so he took a sick day from work. Unexpected time with him always makes me so happy. Even if we have no plans, just being around him feels amazing. The fire place was installed that day, and we found out there is a leak in the wall. Stress levels were high so I was even more thankful he was there beside me.

Saturday was a girls day as he went off to his game thing. I spent most of the day with K. We went shopping and then out for dinner.

When I came back home me and L decided to go see a movie. We were just about to leave when T came home early. I squealed and ran to him. I’m my own terrable movie! Seriously though, this is love.

The movie was really good! Getting out with my friends is always so much fun. I’m happy I have found such a supportive partner who encourages it.

Sunday was a hard day. I decided to visit my parents as T was at his game thing again. Right off the bat my dad started going off on me. He was pissed the kids were coming home later that day. I told him it was to balance out this weekend because they were coming home early, but he didn’t care.

Self worth issues suck. Having him pick me apart over something I’m already not feeling guilt over really sucks. I just kept quiet as normal.

When the kids did get back E had a melt down. I sat on the floor and cried right along with him. These outbursts are emotionally draining. I would like to think seeing me cry helped, but who knows.

Once he calmed down we went out for dinner. When I came home me and T had some pie and talked a bit before bed. His calm and level headed approach to difficult situations is another thing I value about him. He does it in such a way where it’s not cold and lacking empathy and emotion, but level enough with logic to give me something to hold on to.

Monday was mostly spend with missy as E was at preschool. When he came home we watched a little tv and then he went to the hockey game with my dad. He was so excited!

As it was just the 3 of us most of the night it was relatively low key. T played the switch while I played with missy and then we headed off to bed. On days when it’s just us and the “baby” I fight the urge of wanting to give him one of his own. Seeing him play with S, allowing her to crawl all over him while he played his game, it made me love him even more. I don’t really have words for the feelings I felt while watching them, but it makes me so happy. I have no doubts he would be a amazing father, gentle, patient, and firm enough to guide and protect. I love this man.

Tuesday was another rough day. E told me he wished I was dead again so he could stay with his dad. Then we had fun unboxing my new vacuum. With him I feel like it’s a lot of ups and downs. He really enjoyed helping me take everything out of the box though, so we did have some good fun.

His friend N came over for a few hours before Bryan’s dad picked him and S up. They had fun playing together. I hope they continue to enjoy one another’s company as I feel it’s good for E to have some friends.

When the kids left me and T went and picked up a few things from the store and then just had a low key night. I did laundry and he played more Zelda before turning in for the night.

All in all the past few days have been positive. The highlights were deffinitly T spending unexpected time with me, and dad taking E to the hockey game. The time with friends and the fire place are also awesome!

The next few weeks should be exciting for us both. Meeting T mom, a concert, a birthday party, and then T birthday. Life just keeps moving forward. I’m fortunate to share mine with such a amazing man and supportive friends.

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