It’s liked watching someone Ella’s life through a window. The hot shower should burn my skin, the laughter should reach my spirit. Everything feels muted.
Yesterday he came and got the things he left behind. All the things but me. It was 10 minutes that left me sobbing like a broken animal, unable to catch my breath or stop myself from trembling.
I curled up in a ball on my couch and cried god yet another hour for yet another person who does not deserve my tears. I gathered up the broken parts of myself and tried to fit them together again.
This time around, no matter how hard I tried, I was left with ugly cracks. This is what happens when you bond with someone through trauma, when you make them your life line. When they leave, they take most of you along with them.